It's all a process

Grieving is freaking stressful. I think I have been dealing pretty well. I have been able to compartmentalize and not allow it to take over my life. The first couple of days I did struggle to keep my head about me, but all in all I have done ok. And as time has gone on, I have felt better. But grief sure has made me hungry!

And there in lies the problem.

I was about 65-70% raw for a good period of time, I am going to guess and say 6 weeks. I had been almost completely vegetarian for about 2 weeks at the end of those 6 weeks. I felt fantastic. I had a nice even energy level, no crazy peaks and troughs to speak of. I was even considering the insane idea of waking up at 2:30am every morning to practice yoga before I started my day. Seriously, for the last 7 years I have hated my schedule of having to wake up at 3am to get to work by 5. I have clawed my way out of bed and into the shower only to stand there wondering how I got there and what I was supposed to do with the pouf in my hand. But with the diet change I was so amazed by how well I felt. I ate so well. I slept so sound. And my mood was on an even keel.

And much like 2 years ago when my Yoga practice of 6 weeks went to hell something came up to make me stop treating myself as well as I had been. But unlike 2 years ago I have been attempting to re-commit myself. 2 years ago I knew I was bullshitting myself saying I would get back to a daily practice.Right now, I'm just having a hard time resetting myself to be inspired.However, it's a process of becoming inspired.

And I think I may be buying a new blender soon. The $20 special is not holding up.